the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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