everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
