This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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