I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
