I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
