what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
