yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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