im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
