i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't deserve a penis
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
