i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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