WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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