Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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