no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
