Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
