Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
