It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
