You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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