Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
