yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
A+ Viking dick
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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