Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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