So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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