ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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