I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
