yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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