Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
