If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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