omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
