I want to make a zoo with you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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