they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
