Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
