dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
