does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
