so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
