My nipple is on Facebook.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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