Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
