And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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