he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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