I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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