with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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