So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
