What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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