You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
