He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
