RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
