Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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