is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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