Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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