I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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