i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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