Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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