I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
