there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
