his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
