mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
