dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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